Behind Deadened Eyes

Nightfall...

It brings the pain it brings the sorrow,
It brings the hope of never seeing a tomorrow.
The darkness that surrounds his soul,
The misery that slowly takes control.

But no one will ever know,
For his mind will never let him show.
He hides his life until the night falls,
When sweet suicide begins to call.

A corroding heart and a destructive mind,
Behind deadened eyes this is all you will find.

Daybreak...

The sun that brings the light,
The sun that slaughters the night.
As the sun begins to raise high,
It brings with it a never ending lie.

By day he is happy he is normal,
He tries to act plain and formal,
But no one hears the scream inside him,
And no one will ever see a future so grim.

But a blood stained heart that always cries,
Is all you will see behind deadened eyes.

Destruction...

They see him happy they think its true,
With no idea of what lies out of view.
A sorrowful release drawn with a line colored red,
And a longing for life to be dead.

Cold silver brings him the calm,
Along with red water in his palm.
The cry for relief will slowly fade,
Until his hand lets go of the blade.

A torturous past and a vandalized life,
Behind his eyes the glint of the knife,

Inside his body a heart that can never mend,
And within his heart a destructive end.

More Destruction

His gaze meets with the emptiness of the night sky,
In it reflects the torture and pain of his past,
The bleak and shallow hope in his future,
And a way to set him free.

As he walks down the road that one cold night,
He thinks back at all of his problems,
He wonders if anything can be fixed now,
Or if it is time to end it all.

In his eyes you will see his past tears,
Behind his smile you will see his misery,
On his heart you will see his scars,
And in his life you will see no future.

His life is an act that he plays to hide,
His joy is a lie that he covers himself with,
The only thing he knows is pain,
And the only cure he knows haunts him.

Within him are wounds from his past,
Wounds from love,
Wounds from hate,
And wounds from himself.

His thoughts focus on few things,
He does not think of laughter and joy,
For in his thoughts things lie and wait,
And slowly emerge to make his life worse.

Surrounded by anger and hate,
Covered in lies that sting and burn him,
Beaten by words that hurt him so bad,
And dragged down by himself further and further.

In his end there is no joy,
All he will find is more pain,
There is no escape from his life,
There is only more destruction for him.

The Darkness Of The Night

Left alone with no guidance or help,
He wonders what is left for him now...
His world is bleak and lacking hope,
And is slowly deteriorating into nothing...

His body is scarred from the pain of his past,
And his heart is hiding away from the future...
His mind is trapped in unknown feelings,
And his life is phasing out of the world...

One thing is left in his destroyed thoughts,
Something that can save him from the torture...
With one movement of his arm and one blade in his hand,
A sweet release of misery departs from his body...

Light slowly begins to fade from his vision,
And everything he sees turns into a dark blur...
Relaxed and calm in this new peace he finds himself in,
His eyelids slide closed and he exhales one last time...

Blood drops fall down to the bitterness of the ground,
Tears of a lost soul slide downward to meet them...
As dusk fades into reality a boy fades out,
Another life drifts into the darkness of the night.

Like Smoke into the sky

Fade away like smoke into the sky,
Don't let them see you as you turn,
Don't stop to say goodbye,
You are no longer their concern...
It wont be something they'll regret,
It wont be something that causes them to weep,
It is something they will soon forget,
Because to them your life is cheap.

Feel the cold against your skin,
Feel the pain surge all through you,
Stop and let the world just spin,
The end is something you always knew...
Wait for the light to grow dark,
Wait for vision to fade away,
All that shall remains is a mark,
From the blade that takes your life that day.

When it's all over and done,
You will finally feel completely calm,
Because in this ending you have won...
And as blood spirals down to your palm,
No one shall see you fall down to the ground...
No one shall cry for you when you die,
Because cold in the dark you are never to be found,
As you fade away like smoke into the sky...

Forever

Alone in this world with no one to help,
Not seeking attention or love,
Soon to be out of their hair and minds,
And soon to be freed of his torture.

Beaten and bruised by memories from his past,
Alone in the woods with the night and a razor,
Nervous as he anticipates the cut,
Knowing it is the last one he will make.

He shuts his eyes and raises his wrist,
Slides the blade and muffles a scream of relief,
Then as he feels his hand go numb he looks at the wound,
Seeing the blood pool out in a line of crimson cool.

Then he slumps back onto the dirt,
His eyes slide shut and he pictures a calm sleep,
Never to awake and never to remember,
The pain he endured for many years.

Memorized by the final breath,
His mind slows and his thoughts fade,
He feels the ground beneath him with his last bit of strength,
As it slides away into nothing.

Forever

I wont be fine

Do you think that im drowning,
Lonely, cold, asphyxiated,

Do you think that I am blind,
That I live life with my eyes shut,

Do you think that I cant hear,
That I can't hear their cruel harsh words,

Do you think that I don't mind,
That nothing ever bothers me,

Do you think that i'll be fine,
That I live on and feel no pain,

Do you think I don't regret,
All of the things that I have done,

Do you think I will let go,
Of all these things that torture me,

Do you think that I will live,
As I prepare to take my life,

Do you think that I wont die,
As a blade erases my life,

I wont be fine,
I wont regret,
I wont be theirs,
I wont forget,

The world is not mine,
Sweet freedom divine,

I wont be fine.

Never

Standing alone draped in the darkness of dawn,
Staring into the hopeless depths of night,
His heart drips blood from the wounds that cover it,
And his cold blank eyes that pierce the sky,
Never be seen.

His tears that flood down his face to the pavement,
Showing the suffering he went through,
His wretched sorrow that has destroyed his life,
And that carried him to his end,
Never be noticed.

His feelings of joy and pride inside of him,
The feelings that no longer exist in his miserable life,
The lies and the words that coat his body,
And corrode him with the hate they bear,
Never to be read.

We are all just stars in the midnight sky,
We shine in our lives and show our glory,
But now his star begins to fall to the ground,
As he falls from the bridge,
Never to be saved.

Faint Memories

Crushed and beaten alone on the dark road of life,
Burned by embers of hate that coat his skin,
Shreds of his heart lie bleeding in black water,
And silver dreams lie wasted in his painful past.

Stare into his empty eyes and you can see,
The suffering they put him through to watch him bleed,
The slits on his wrists they made with their words,
And the end they so willingly handed to him.

In a pool of tears that flow from his heart he lies,
Wishing it all away so he may resume his life,
Suffocated by their lies that tape his mouth shut,
And filled with the holes they put in him.

Buried by the misery he is trapped under,
Blinded by the dust they kick in his face,
The labels they spit at him,
And the mud they drag him through.

The revenge he never took now just a memory,
The knife they stabbed him with to see him suffer,
The gun they shot him with to see him scream,
And the bridge he jumped from to save himself...

All just faint memories

Left to die

He lies cold on the hard ground he has been forced onto,
Tear drops slide down his face so gently and calmly comforting him,
The scars on his heart show the misery from his past that haunts him,
The blood that drops from it shows the pain that haunts him today,
And the ice he exhales show the solitude he must live in.

The wounds left in his self-esteem cut up his life and tear at his mind,
The words that they write on his skin show the lies that he is marked with,
The rumors they beat him with destroy him,
The hate they attack him with kill him,
And the empty eyes he bares show the lack of joy he lives with.

The ropes that hold him back in his cruel past,
Cut into his skin and reveal his blood from the years before,
Crying in the empty and dark roof that has become his life,
Dying alone on the path they have driven him onto,
And now that they have finished with him,
They will leave him to die.

Never to be found

Solitude traps him.
Cold slowly freezing his heart,
Darkness crushes his dreams,
Misery clouds his sight,
Tied down and stranded,
With no one to help,
His tears disappear into the dust,
Never to be found.

Pain tortures him.
Scars on his heart reflect his past,
Emptiness in his eyes reflect his sorrow,
Cold skin shows his long lost empathy,
The breath he exhales exhibits his soul,
The words on his skin show all the hate,
Hate that builds up and weighs him down,
And buries him alive.

Life mocks him.
His heart is now frozen,
The scars weep blood,
His dreams are now gone,
His eyes dead,
His sight now fades,
His skin now pale,
Crushed by his chains,
He has no more breath,
All people see,
Are the words they write on him,
His tears now blood,
Crushed by hate,
Never to be found.

Suicide is the cure to pain

Left behind in his harsh dark pain,
The scars they left will forever remain,
Leaking the blood of his heart that they drew,
And covered in the lies that they have made true.

Silent in the cold sorrow that traps him,
Dying in isolation with no one to see,
Never to be saved from his torturous fate,
The misery that he will sedate.

Now he shuts his eyes and accepts his end,
Curing the scars that would never mend,
As he fades away from the hateful past,
He can truly enter the present at last.

The streets I now sleep

Cold and alone on the streets I now sleep.
The streets of pain that stings so deep,
Beaten by the hate in their voices,
And buried in the dust of my choices.

Staggering down a miserable road,
Watching as my feelings inside explode,
Staring up at the empty sky,
Screaming as I feel my heart die.

My tears of sorrow drip onto the ground,
Disappearing into the night, never to be found,
Seeing all the faces that mock me,
Faces that will never leave me be.

Trying to hide from all the eyes,
Attacked by all of their lies,
Wishing it would end as I weep,
Dying alone on the streets I now sleep.

Tears of blood

Rain pours down onto my heart,
Wishing I could just restart,
Clouded by hate misery and pain,
masked by sorrow that drives me insane,
Tears fall from my eyes,
Reminding me of all the lies.

Lying still now alone and cold,
Watching my fate cruelly unfold,
Blood drips from the glinting blade,
And i am no longer afraid,
Tears of blood now flow,
But freedom is what they now show.

The cold

Running from the memories that cut his heart,
Pressured by the sorrow he feels from it,
Tortured by the misery he feels everyday,
And suffocated by the hate towards him.

Trying to escape with no hope,
There is no hope for him now,
Surviving on his own all his life,
With no one to guide him.

He tries to save himself,
His attempts go without success,
Alone and scared in this hateful world,
Soon to all come to an end.

Looking back at the fear he lived in,
He raises the blade to free him from his chains,
A single tear runs down his face and drops to the floor,
Reflecting all his pain in his cold isolation.

His vision starts to fade as a drop of blood joins his tears,
Falling down he cries in grief,
And then realizes that he will no longer be harmed,
For he is now safe from the cold.

Confusion2

Feeling cold and alone on the streets of my mind,
Unsure of the thoughts and feelings that I find,
My heart says hes but my head says no,
I don't know which way to go.

The world spins too fast for me,
Too fast for me to see,
My heart aches for what my mind blocks out,
Even though my heart is filled with doubt.

But my mind will control my heart,
This love will never start,
It no longer matters now,
It's just another thing my head wont allow.

Falling (free verse poem)

Looking up at the cold rocks that once held me,
Not knowing what is to come,
Blinded by the pain I feel in my mind and heart,
Crippled by the misery that envelopes my life,
The feeling of the air passing by,
Like hands reaching out trying to save me,
Ground rushing towards me so fast,
Like my torturous memories from the past.

Soon I will feel the sharp blade of death,
And break free of the chains that hold me,
No more will this life torment me,
Tonight I will escape all of this hate,
My soul will finally rest,
My screams will come to an end,
Looking down I see my cruel hard fate,
And what my life has driven me into.

The wind still rushes past me,
But now it feels quite different,
The hands that once reached out to save me,
Were just shoving me down all along.

And just before I hit the ground,
A final tear I will shed,
Reflected in that tear will be what I once was,
And in the ground I will see my freedom.

Another day

Lying now, in my field of misery and pain,
The grass is gray and no plants remain,
The cold wind of loneliness blows over me,
The dust of my hearts decay blows free,
Overtaken by sorrow masked by my mind,
People laugh for my conscience is blind.

Crying now, in the shadows I hide within,
Hateful words written on my skin,
Covered in the dirt of lies,
Watched by hateful eyes,
Trapped by the chains of fate,
There is no hope for me, it's too late.

Screaming now, in my pit of despair,
Even thought no one will care,
Falling to the ground wishing it all away,
Reduced to nothing but societies stray,
Shutting my eyes, everything fades to gray,
Leaving me to suffer another day.

Painted red

He drops the blade painted red,
Happy that he'll soon be dead,
The pain he's felt throughout his life,
has come to an end with the edge of his knife.

The torturous misery he's had to endure,
Sliding away now because of his cure,
The memories that he had to face,
Leave his mind without a trace,
And when his thoughts finally end,
The would it left will finally mend.

No longer trapped by his suffering mind,
The escape from this he will soon find,
By taking his life tonight,
He see's that things are finally right.

Now as he lies in his pool of distress,
And see's his life as just a mess,
And as the light fades from his sight,
He starts to slip into eternal night.

Relaxed now he is free,
And now his future he can see,
He drops the blade painted red,
Happy that he'll soon be dead.

Not for long

All I see is misery,
All I hear is screaming,
All I fell is pain,
Not for long...

Walking alone through the forest of my tears,
Surrounded by my pain, my hatred and my fears,
Hidden by the darkness flowing from my soul,
Running now I've lost control.

Looking around at what my life has come to,
The hatred and torture I've succumb to,
I cannot see anything but my own life,
The suffering and misery reflected in the blade of the knife.

The trees are dead and the animals lie still,
For tonight my blood shall spill,
Cold steel against cold dying skin,
And then the world begins to spin.

I stumble now through the night,
And the forest starts to to fade from sight,
The pain and fear drifts away,
The color fades to gray,
Grasping the air as if to be awoken from the nightmare,
But then I realize that no one is there,
And as I stop my desperate plea,
I notice that I have finally been set free.

Tonight I'll die

Im living a lie Tonight I'll die, And with my last breath I'll say... All the hate, all the pain, What makes me fucking insane, There is no fix there is no cure, I will never feel secure, Torture me, Scar me, I dont care, Its only fair. Shadows are what lie ahead, My future is to lie down dead, Now my eyes slowly close, And my breathing starts to slow, All I can say is goodbye, Tonight is the night I will die.

Hatred

Now that the love is gone,
And darkness settles in,
I feel no compasion for you now,
I feel no sympathy,
No empathy,
I dont care for your feelings.
All i've ever done is rape your feelings,
When i see you i feel a dark pain,
Where there was once love there is now hatred and loathing.

Confusion

I walk the road spinning so fast,
I have another thought though it will be my last.

My head spins,
I burn in my sins,
My eyes ache,
With the last step i take,
I can see a light,
Though i fade in the night,
No hope for me now,
But i'll find a way somehow.

All I feel now is confusion,
Living in an illusion,
I take my last look around,
Knowing I will never be found,
I walk in the rain,
I feel the pain,
I dont know whats going on,
My senses are gone.

I claw at my skin,
Trying to stop the spin,
My mind is dead,
All thats left to be said,
Is how my life will end,
If i cant mend,
The confusion.

Take it

Take my heart,
And rip it apart,
Take my mind,
And make me blind,
Rip out my soul,
And spit in the hole,
Take what makes me bleed,
Take whatever you fucking need,
Its all gone now,
I dont know how,
All I know is the feeling of the blade,
And the trail it made,
Theres blood on the knife,
Because I took my life.

No one hears

I cant keep living this lie,
Every night I cry,
No ones really known,
How i feel all alone,
With my voice,
I can keep myself company.


I want to die,
But all I can do is cry,
I cant stand the pain,
Im driving me insane,
On the inside im screaming,
But no one can hear.


I want to break free,
But im locked up and there is no key,
My hearts trapped in itself,
But im trapped within myself,
With my legs,
I can run away.

I have no where to run,
My pain will soon be done,
I cant take this life,
My only friend is my knife,
With my arms,
I can kill myself.

You will never see me again

The poison i've been fed
The lies that i've bled,
The pain that stung my heart,
The moment we drifted apart,

Every moment i cant replace,
Every moment i try to erase,
I wanted you to return,
I could never learn.

I never thought that you'd be gone,
Your love for me now withdrawn,
I just dont know how,
I could love you now.

It doesnt matter now,
I will never allow,
You to love me again,
My love for you begins to drain.

And when you miss me most,
I'll be dead.

The end

I cant live with your lies,
I cant live with your cries,
I cant live with this pain,
I cant live with your insane,
I cant live with all this.

I cant stand this place,
I cant stand seeing your face,
I cant stand having you here,
I cant stand you my dear,
I cant stand all of this.

I cant survive like this,
I cant survive with just a kiss,
I cant survive with only a frown,
I cant survive when you kick me down.
I cant survive.

I never knew

You had always been there,
I just wasnt aware,
I never knew that love could be withdrawn,
I never knew... until you were gone.

It stings deep inside,
I can no longer hide,
It wont leave me alone,
The pain that i've always known.


I cant get free,
I now see,
I thought i had escaped,
Until my heart was raped,
By you.

It will be over

I am not part of this trend,
I have already sealed my end,
Everything that has gone down,
Everything that made me frown,
Will be forgoten.

I cant survive on all these lies,
Everytime i looke into your eyes,
I see that you dont care,
I know you wont be there,
At the worst of times.

This is the last time you see,
This is the last you'll see of me,
When you finish destroying my life,
I will have finished with my knife,
It will be over.

To my demise

Burried in my life again,
Suffocated in pain,
Tortured by my past,
Got to escape it fast,
You dont care about me and we both know it,
I could end it with one quick slit,
I dont give a fuck,
I am all out of luck,
Infected by your lies,
Leading me to my demise.

I just want all the pain to stop

I have no one left anymore,
You had to hurt me some more,
You couldn't just leave me alone,
Now my heart is buried in stone.

It hurts it stings,
I suffer under all the sorrow it brings,
Beaten down by what I've become,
Broken by what you've done.

You could never feel how i feel,
The pain i can never reveal,
You'll never know how much it burns,
When everything you've blocked out of your life returns.

I hate my life i want to die,
All you told me was one big lie,
It goes away with each blood drop,
I just want all the pain to stop.

Im Fine

See what i've become?
My mind is numb,
Soul filled with hate,
No appologies its too late,
It's ok, lets restart,
Even though you broke my heart,
I'd give you a second chance,
But you'd put me in another fucking trance,
I dont know how i trusted you,
I guess i never knew,
How cruel you could be,
Im fine cant you see?

Jump

He approaches the edge thinking of the end,
Looking back on what he once called his life,
He doesn't smile, he doesn't laugh,
Instead he frowns and prepares for the jump.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The looks far away but seems so close to him,
Tears run down his cheeks and off onto the ground,
Trapped in a box of his pain trying to break free,
Body aches as he takes a step onto the air.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking around as he falls preying for someone to catch him,
There is no turning back and no one to save him,
He screams out and realizes that he is now free,
He relaxes and lets the ground strike him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fucking end it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Go ahead and leave me to die,
I don't care i want it to end,
If i have to take my life,
You can have it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You wont do it you'll be fine you will say,
I don't give a fuck about your words,
I can do it my own way,
Life is the jail that imprisoned me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't have to take this shit,
I don't have to hear this shit,
The lies and deceit i grew up with,
Just trained me to hate myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll take my pain away

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I dont need this shit you call a life,
I can fix it right here i can end it all right now,
You corrupted my mind and poisoned my heart,
Hoping i would see it your way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well i dont give a fuck about myself,
And i know you dont give a fuck either,
So why drag this on and on?
When we can put a stop to it so easily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have nothing left i have no one left,
I feel nothing but pain,
My life is short and you know it,
I'll take my pain away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take it

I can take this pain away,
The pain i feel every day,
I know you dont care,
I know i dont care,
This life i fucked up so badly,
This life i will take so gladly,
I dont need your sympathy,
I dont need your empathy,
I cant live with your lies,
All thats left are goodbyes.

Ending

As tears stream down his face,
he shuts his eyes,
waiting to leave this place,
left in the dust for the flies.

The blade draws near,
brought in by his suffering and pain,
standing there with no fear,
with blood dripping from the vein.

He drops to the floor,
blood leaking out,
his life is no more,
and nothing to think about.

now theres blood instead of tears,
as he leaves his life behind,
the light disappears,
a life no longer confined.

My dark side

Fists clenched,
Mind wrenched,
Heart broken,
Words unspoken,
Cant get out,
Drowned in doubt,
Haunted by the past,
Pain will always last,
Never-ending torment,
Suicidal intent,
Slash across the wrist,
Blood spirals to the fist,
Drops hit the floor,
Until there is no more,
Body on the ground,
Never to be found.

Put an end to it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You forced me through this stupid life,
Giving me nothing but bad advice,
I can't keep living now,
I just don't know how.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll die tonight,
Kiss me goodnight,
I can't go on,
I'll soon be gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now i pray,
To get away,
From this pain,
I must abstain,
From life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pain

He never smiled,
he was always sad,
unlike a normal child,
his mind kept him mad.

The pain that enveloped his life,
squeezed his heart tight,
as the blood leaked from the vein to the knife,
he shut his eyes and said good night.

Now the dark angles will come,
and take him where he fits in,
their songs of death at a low hum,
to live forever in sin.